Ode to the Spammer
My darling; my dear one; my good long-lost friend:
your tag line to pleasure your note doth portend.
The rare precious chance to see Trixie nude,
into my hum-drumness allows to intrude.
When need for an organ to stretch through the roof;
I rush to your substance before it goes “poof!”
“You’ve won!” you declare as you detail my prize;
while “processing fee” escapes my surmise.
Tell all you encounter how much you adore me;
I’ll prove your kind offer to scam and ignore me.
Your wit and inventiveness; sure to impress!
Who else would allow me to have more for less?
You’re “trying to reach me”; you “miss me so much!”
I’m thrilled; I’m excited; I “must be in touch!”
And when we connect, you will tell me for sure
the tales of those riches you’re there to procure.
Just one nagging doubt before I “Click Here“:
I don’t think I’ve met you; you seem insincere.
And so I choose “Next“, with the click of a mouse,
and wish you good fortune–but not in my house!
picture from weeklyreader.com
Ha! ha! ha! I loved it.
timethief
November 6, 2009
Hah! I love this Muse!! Not sure how word got out that my organ was the size of a pea shooter – or that I even had one – but certainly good to know that all could be cured by just one click…should I ever grow one. Thanks for making us smile.
Ronnie Ann
November 8, 2009
hahaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
mahsa
November 9, 2009
Did you write this? It’s awesome!
Juan
November 9, 2009
Thank you, tt! Glad it gave you a chuckle.
You, too, RA? I thought I was the only one who didn’t know I needed a particular organ, of a particular size, until I was enlightened by several hundred helpful emails! (Hmmm. Sounds vaguely Freudian. Not in a good way.) You’re welcome, my pleasure.
Liked it then, did you masha? Thanks for laughing here.
I did, Juan! I wrote it all by myself! It started coming into my head, and I couldn’t make it stop.
Thank you! 
museditions
November 9, 2009
HAHAHA! I am chuckling endlessly
Good one Muse!
Anyways, you are awarded at http://kirantarun.com/2009/11/11/and-the-award-goes-to/... Claim your loot!
Kiran
November 11, 2009
Methinks you just started the cyber-satire genre dear Muse. Bravo!
pochp
November 13, 2009
Perfect, Muse!! Just. Perfect.
ellaella
November 14, 2009
I’m glad, kiran. If I can bring a moment of joy into your life, it makes me happy as well.
Thank you for the “addicting blog award” —that’s a compliment, right? 
I only hope withdrawal symptoms are not too severe. 
Now, I’d better go do something to deserve it.
Cyber-satire, poch—juicy name. Perhaps I’m not the first, but I amused myself at least.
I haven’t written any poetry in a while, and THIS is what chooses to come through. Thank you much.
Aw, ella, you are too kind! This is what happens when catching up on a couple hundred emails all at once.
museditions
November 14, 2009
Very clever and LOLicious! Gotta love the spam that tugs on the heartstrings. But not as much as your verse.
David
November 16, 2009