Happy Generative Day

Posted on May 10, 2008. Filed under: Culture, Philosophy, Spirituality |

To all of you who are mothers, and/or have mothers, I wish you a wonderful celebratory weekend. So many of us think of Mother’s Day as just another Hallmark moment. I’d like to think of it as more. I neither have parents nor children, presently. (I did have parents at one point; but they’ve passed from this earthly existence. I didn’t want you to think I’d sprung, fully formed, from Pluto, or somewhere. πŸ™‚ Although there are those that wonder…) I therefore don’t have to deal with which cards and/or gifts to obtain—something I’ve never been very good at, but I can get a bit pensive this time of year. Not because I miss my own mother (I’m not saying I don’t) but because I notice things like all the emotional energy people put into this holiday, and it seems a combination of love and guilt; of joy and thankfulness coupled with vague uneasiness. And why is this?

Let’s face it, many of us have mixed feelings about our mothers. Parenting remains the most important job on the planet (in my opinion) and, at this point in our social evolution, the brunt of that job still falls on the mothers, in most cases. There has never, in the history of our world, been one mother who has dealt perfectly with all her issues before giving birth or adopting. Therefore, the newborn; child; teenager; young adult that’s produced will, of necessity, absorb some maternal angst no matter how good the intentions of the parent. The kind and intensity of the manifestation of this varies from family to family, but there’s a quote I like: “You start to worry about your children from the moment they are born (sometimes before), and the newborn, still so connected to the spirit world picks up on that right away, and tells her/himself that they must have come to a place where worry is important.”

Of course, if it’s a good, loving, family, they come to a place of joy and love and nurturing, too. I think where it gets confusing for both the parent and the child is that mixed up someplace in all this is the notion that “to love is to worry about”. Parents want to protect their children from perceived danger, and in so doing, tend to overlook the apparent fact that the child, if left to her/his own devices, without the burden of the “worry” will make many choices appropriate for her/him.

My belief system includes a doozie: that children come into this world knowing who they are; knowing they have a connection to all that is, and with a full set of expectations about what they’d like to accomplish while here. I know many mothers—and fathers, too, who encourage self-exploration in their children. This is the best kind of parenting, and I salute it.

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14 Responses to “Happy Generative Day”

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Thanks for the good wishes Muse…my guys are all set to spoil me …we usually have a sponge cake from the pastry shop with strawberries and cream smothered in and on it….yummy!! CJ showed me a gorgeous boxed set of cups and saucers with butterflies on them…each cup a different sorbet colour, which I treated myself to and he bought me something else to go with them. We shall prepare a lovely afternoon tea or rather David shall….am not allowed to lift a finger all day!

We have not noticed the commercial side of things so much this year….usually we get irate about the expectations placed on people to spend spend spend, so good that has not been so in evidence…maybe I am tuning it out.

“My belief system includes a doozie: that children come into this world knowing who they are; knowing they have a connection to all that is, and with a full set of expectations about what they’d like to accomplish while here. I know many mothersβ€”and fathers, too, who encourage self-exploration in their children. This is the best kind of parenting, and I salute it.”

I agree! We choose our parents and the life we have to learn and/or to teach the lessons we still need to accomplish.

It is so nice to see that I am not the only one out there that thinks this way. I suppose I do because that is just the way I was raised. That is what my parents believed and my grandparent did too.
Not that I didn’t delve into all kinds of religion and beliefs, as a child I was free to explore anything I wanted to and I did.

Have a great week-end Muse! Now I have to get some yard work done before I change my mind. πŸ™‚

Do you celebrate mother’s day this weekend then? It was weeks ago over here.

I’ve always thought it was quite a nice occasion, but we’ve never made a big song and dance about it in our family because it’s largely an excuse to sell greetings cards. My brother and I always make our own.

You have some quite interesting views on motherhood and mother’s day, but alas, I am unable to think of anything profound to say so all I can do is nod mutely *nods mutely*.

My Mom passed away 11 years ago but I am a mother to two wonderful children. I live permanently with my daughter and her husband. It’s wonderful to be so close to her. They have their private space downstairs sans kitchen and bathroom which we share upstairs where I am. It works out fine for them because I do all the cooking anyway.

I told them that for Mother’s Day all I wanted was their time. I want a little garden by the back door where I can sit and read. I don’t want to go out to a restaurant (my cooking is just as good and cheaper). I don’t want any presents because there is nothing I need. I just want a little sitting area by the back door.

My son is in Buffalo and I will miss not seeing him but we talk almost everyday.

I wish you a good happy day tomorrow and every day.

Mmmm, sponge cake with strawberries and cream! Sounds scrumptious, Magik, and I’ll imagine you having your tea. I haven’t had a proper afternoon tea in a while, and there’s a couple of places ’round here that “do it up right” with scones and cucumber sandwiches. You’ve reminded me to enjoy that on another occasion. Your teacups sound beautiful—could you be tempted to put up a photo on your blog? πŸ™‚ I’ll be attending a committee meeting on the day. It’s our usual meeting time, and only two people can’t come because of family obligations. We’ll follow the meeting with a potluck dinner and dessert (although I don’t know if we’ll be able to rival yours!) and we’ll toast those who are mothers, those who have them, and those who are absent. You deserve every bit of that pampering you’re expecting. πŸ˜€

There’re plenty of us unusual ones out there, BD, if we know where to look! And we’re often extremely nice people, too. πŸ˜‰ I love hearing how you were allowed to explore any ideas you wanted to, growing up. Here here! Hope your gardening goes well (I prefer that term to “yard work”, as it sounds less like “work” πŸ™‚ ), and have a beautiful weekend.

Oh, you are a witty bloke, B0bby!: “*nods mutely*”—Your mute nod speaks volumes and I appreciate it. πŸ™‚ I think you and your brother have the right idea, making your own cards. It’s much more personal. But of course there’s value in every loving thought, no matter how expressed. Yes, Mom’s day in the US is always the second Sunday in May. Since blogging is international (I SO love this!) I looked it up before my post, and found this is true in Australia, Canada, and many other countries. You lot in the UK and Ireland do have it earlier, though, don’t you? This wikipedia link has a chart showing celebrations all over the world.

I know you’ve been wanting that garden, joan, and I can just see you surrounded by all your lovely things! It seems you have a wonderful and companionable family, and I’m so pleased for all of you. Have a very lovely day; week; life! πŸ™‚

I haven’t had a mother since the age of…..9. So I don’t really know what it is like to give a mothers day card or prezzie. I know the kids love making their cards for ‘Mom’ (Mum) and getting a nice little present for her. This year it being a small box of her favourite chocolates.

So I wish all Mums all the best for mothers day. πŸ™‚

So, you’ve missed out on many things, Will. 😦 I’m happy for your children, though, and I’m sure their lovely Mum will enjoy her cards and chockies! πŸ™‚ Happy Mum’s Day to you all.

RE: “There’re plenty of us unusual ones out there, BD, if we know where to look! And we’re often extremely nice people, too. πŸ˜‰ I love hearing how you were allowed to explore any ideas you wanted to, growing up. Here here! Hope your gardening goes well (I prefer that term to β€œyard work”, as it sounds less like β€œwork” πŸ™‚ ), and have a beautiful weekend.”

I always try to be nice and stay positive. But the scorpio rising sometimes gets the better of me. πŸ™‚
I keep it in check for the most part.

The yard is looking better. I’ll have to remember to leave the “work” part of it out next time because you are right, it is refreshing.

You didn’t spring from Pluto? πŸ™‚

I hope your potluck dinner was good.
Take care

How was the pot luck? Sounded like fun to me!

thebeadden and Magik Quilter, aren’t you both nice to ask about the potluck, thanks! It was very nice. We had three kinds of pasta, and four salads, and although we had no strawberry-related desserts, we did have apple pie and fudge. Many people in my area live away from family, so it’s pleasant to get together with friends. And how was your tea, Magick? bead, the gardening sounds great, and I’m sure your rising is a very nice scorpion! I did in fact spring from Pluto, I just didn’t want to blow my cover here on earth. Guess the game’s up now. πŸ˜‰

Well said Muse.
The thought that we pick our parents is a hard one for people to swallow. I think most don’t want that accountability! “Not THOSE parents” yep : ) Those parents.

Thank you very much, seeing! Yep, “those” parents. And those children, too. And sisters, brothers, uncles, aunt and cousins; friends, and blogging buddies like you. πŸ˜‰ I’m not sure how it all works, but I do know there are real and useful lessons we can learn from our relationships. It’s so important to stay congruent within oneself, and ask oneself what feels right in this moment. From that strong place we can best serve others.

I enjoyed your muse about motherhood, MY own mum is a plain speaking sort, she has many little sayings that I think are unique to her, she says “never trust a politician in a miniskirt” to which I reply “especially if it’s a fella” and she says when she sees a child skipping along “it was God who taught him to do that.”love GD

I think I like your mum, gentledove…a politician in a miniskirt! I’m going to have trouble getting that image out of my mind, now. πŸ™‚ Oh, and, indeed, about the children. Thank you.


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