Archive for July 9th, 2008

Haiku error messages

Posted on July 9, 2008. Filed under: Culture, Musings, Philosophy |

Every now and then I receive some real gems amongst all that “fwd” email many of us get. I can’t speak to the truth of any of the following, but I did enjoy the poetry. After the somber tone of my last post, I felt a lightening of the spirit was in order. There are a couple of bonus funnies at the end. Thanks to my friend The Alternate Evolutionist for making me aware of these:

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku Poetry messages. Haiku Poetry has strict construction rules: Each poem has only 17 Syllables – 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the Third. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning, and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are some actual error messages from Japan. Aren’t these better than “your computer has performed an illegal operation?”

—————————————–
The web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
—————————————–
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
——————————————–
Program aborting
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
——————————————–
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
——————————————–
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
——————————————–
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
——————————————–
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
——————————————–
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
——————————————–
Three things are certain
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
——————————————–
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
——————————————–
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
——————————————–
Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.
——————————————–
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
——————————————–
#  #  #  #  #  #  #  #  #  #
This proves we have become far too dependent on our computers.

1)  Are you male or female?

To find out the answer, look down….

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> Look down, not scroll down….

“This year, American taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:”

“Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
“A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

“Q. Where will the government get this money?
“A. From taxpayers.

“Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
“A. Only a smidgen.

“Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
“A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

“Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
“A. Shut up.”

If you forward this to 10 people within the next 10 minutes, 10 more people may make disparaging remarks about your parentage!
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