Nothing “out there” is the reason!
I must have uttered this phrase four or five times during the last group session I facilitated. There were so many things our clients wanted to “blame”! Well, we worked on those things, and then I went home, and confronted myself. I would never ask someone to take a position I wouldn’t embrace. If I don’t “practice what I preach”, I have no integrity. I do think it’s OK to not act integrally, it’s just not where I currently want to be.
So, back to confronting myself about my own stuff: What does this post title mean, anyway? It’s a philosophical position, for one thing, but also a principle of theoretical physics. I don’t know that science defines philosophy or behavior, but, the more I study these things, the more I can’t tell them apart; truly.
Here’s a quote to get us going:
We know now in physics, since *Heisenberg, that the classical ideal of scientific objectivity can no longer be maintained. Scientific research involves the observer as a participator and this involves the consciousness of the human observer. Hence, there are no objective properties of nature, independent of the human observer. …scientists are now not only intellectually responsible for their research but also morally responsible. —Fritjof Capra
So, if there is something not optimum in our lives, here is whose fault it’s not:
The Government; Our Parents; Lack of Education; Too much Education; Our Gender, Race, Sexual Orientation; Our Physical Disability; Our Neighbor with the Barking Dog; Our Unpleasant Teacher in the Third Grade. You get the idea.
The objection I most often hear to this position goes something like this: “But, that sounds like you are blaming the victim! That’s not fair! No one asks to get cancer, or be mugged, or get into a car crash! This is a mean, elitist, pompous philosophy, with no compassion for people’s real problems!!!”
At one point in my conscious eruption, I felt the need to “explain” when people said things like this. I’d say, “No one is saying anyone ‘asks’ for things that cause them pain. The illness or condition arises out of years of hypnotic programming by a society that thinks matter is causal, rather than consciousness. There is no blame involved, only acknowledgement of the amazing journey ones path has been, so far, and the realization that one can change it once one learns one can, and has the right tools.”
I went on like this for quite a while, because I believed that a questioner had a right to a logical explanation. Also, there was a part of me hoping to convince them my position was the right one—an emotional need which does not honor my actual belief.
Now, I realize that the person addressing me may simply be on a different journey. There is no need for them to embrace my particular truth, as helpful as it has been for me. The fact that they are there, in my life in some capacity, questioning my reality, does say that the questioning is part of the process for them and for me. We both have something to learn from the interaction.
Of course, this restriction doesn’t apply in the groups I facilitate. 🙂 Those attending know perfectly well the principles on which the group operates; they can choose to attend, or not, and if they do attend, they are most likely willing to at least explore the possibilities of shifting their realities in directions they like better. Given the phone calls and reports we receive, participants lives are getting better—or they think they are, and either way, it’s OK with me!
I read an exercise which illustrates this, and which I’ve done, now. It asks us to list one or two or three things that have happened in our lives which were very difficult at the time. These could involve health issues, loss of relationship, or physical or emotional hardship. It then directs us to find at least three positive outcomes from those issues, and list them. It suggests that we would not be the person we are today, if those things had not happened.
Sometimes we have an ongoing issue, like a chronic illness, which seems to have outgrown its usefulness. Our bodies are dense—in both senses of the word—and often take a considerable time to “catch up” to where we are mentally, or, more accurately, in consciousness. In this case, energy techniques like EFT can help tremendously. We need something to shift the energy out of old patterns of behaviour and expectation.
So, arriving home after facilitating just such a session of energy techniques (and benefitting myself, quite a lot, as well!) I find myself wanting to be very careful to put the “blame” for any condition I continue to experience, positively or negatively, squarely where it belongs: on that splendid person looking back at me from the mirror!