Ode to the Spammer

Posted on November 5, 2009. Filed under: Culture, Games, Musings |

My darling; my dear one; my good long-lost friend:
your tag line to pleasure your note doth portend.
The rare precious chance to see Trixie nude,
into my hum-drumness allows to intrude.

When need for an organ to stretch through the roof;
I rush to your substance before it goes “poof!”
“You’ve won!” you declare as you detail my prize;
while “processing fee” escapes my surmise.

Tell all you encounter how much you adore me;
I’ll prove your kind offer to scam and ignore me.
Your wit and inventiveness; sure to impress!
Who else would allow me to have more for less?

You’re “trying to reach me”; you “miss me so much!”
I’m thrilled; I’m excited; I “must be in touch!”
And when we connect, you will tell me for sure
the tales of those riches you’re there to procure.

Just one nagging doubt before I “Click Here“:
I don’t think I’ve met you; you seem insincere.
And so I choose “Next“, with the click of a mouse,
and wish you good fortune–but not in my house!

spam boy

picture from weeklyreader.com


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15 Responses to “Ode to the Spammer”

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Ha! ha! ha! I loved it. πŸ˜‰

Hah! I love this Muse!! Not sure how word got out that my organ was the size of a pea shooter – or that I even had one – but certainly good to know that all could be cured by just one click…should I ever grow one. Thanks for making us smile.


Did you write this? It’s awesome!

Thank you, tt! Glad it gave you a chuckle. πŸ˜€

You, too, RA? I wasn’t overly concerned about size, until I was enlightened by several hundred helpful emails! (Hmmm. Sounds vaguely Freudian. Not in a good way.) You’re welcome, my pleasure. πŸ˜‰

Liked it then, did you masha? Thanks for laughing here.

I did, Juan! I wrote it all by myself! It started coming into my head, and I couldn’t make it stop. πŸ˜€ Thank you! πŸ™‚

HAHAHA! I am chuckling endlessly πŸ˜€ Good one Muse!

Anyways, you are awarded at http://kirantarun.com/2009/11/11/and-the-award-goes-to/… Claim your loot! πŸ˜€

Methinks you just started the cyber-satire genre dear Muse. Bravo!

Perfect, Muse!! Just. Perfect.

I’m glad, kiran. If I can bring a moment of joy into your life, it makes me happy as well. πŸ™‚ Thank you for the “addicting blog award” —that’s a compliment, right? πŸ˜‰ I only hope withdrawal symptoms are not too severe. πŸ˜€ Now, I’d better go do something to deserve it.

Cyber-satire, poch—juicy name. Perhaps I’m not the first, but I amused myself at least. πŸ™‚ I haven’t written any poetry in a while, and THIS is what chooses to come through. Thank you much.

Aw, ella, you are too kind! This is what happens when catching up on a couple hundred emails all at once. πŸ˜‰

Very clever and LOLicious! Gotta love the spam that tugs on the heartstrings. But not as much as your verse. πŸ™‚

I appreciate that, Dave! I was feeling a bit sideways when I wrote this, I admit. πŸ™‚

I missed this before. Great poem, Muse! Very funny and it has a great rhythm.

So I guess I didn’t win the lottery after all? Dang. πŸ˜‰

You have a real knack for satire. Will you do any more? Twitter would be fun. πŸ™‚

Thank you, cj, this means a lot to me coming from you! Nope, no lottery for you this time, but that very next SPAM message could be the one! πŸ˜‰
I probably will write more in this genre; it was quite a lot of fun. πŸ™‚

LMAO! Take a bow. Great poem, Muse!

Thank you, BD, I have done. πŸ™‚ Now you know what goes on in my brain! I don’t usually inflict it on others. πŸ˜€

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