Ode to the Spammer
My darling; my dear one; my good long-lost friend:
your tag line to pleasure your note doth portend.
The rare precious chance to see Trixie nude,
into my hum-drumness allows to intrude.
When need for an organ to stretch through the roof;
I rush to your substance before it goes “poof!”
“You’ve won!” you declare as you detail my prize;
while “processing fee” escapes my surmise.
Tell all you encounter how much you adore me;
I’ll prove your kind offer to scam and ignore me.
Your wit and inventiveness; sure to impress!
Who else would allow me to have more for less?
You’re “trying to reach me”; you “miss me so much!”
I’m thrilled; I’m excited; I “must be in touch!”
And when we connect, you will tell me for sure
the tales of those riches you’re there to procure.
Just one nagging doubt before I “Click Here“:
I don’t think I’ve met you; you seem insincere.
And so I choose “Next“, with the click of a mouse,
and wish you good fortune–but not in my house!
picture from weeklyreader.com
MusEditions 
Ha! ha! ha! I loved it. 😉
timethief
November 6, 2009
Hah! I love this Muse!! Not sure how word got out that my organ was the size of a pea shooter – or that I even had one – but certainly good to know that all could be cured by just one click…should I ever grow one. Thanks for making us smile.
Ronnie Ann
November 8, 2009
hahaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
mahsa
November 9, 2009
Did you write this? It’s awesome!
Juan
November 9, 2009
Thank you, tt! Glad it gave you a chuckle. 😀
You, too, RA? I wasn’t overly concerned about size, until I was enlightened by several hundred helpful emails! (Hmmm. Sounds vaguely Freudian. Not in a good way.) You’re welcome, my pleasure. 😉
Liked it then, did you masha? Thanks for laughing here.
I did, Juan! I wrote it all by myself! It started coming into my head, and I couldn’t make it stop. 😀 Thank you! 🙂
museditions
November 9, 2009
HAHAHA! I am chuckling endlessly 😀 Good one Muse!
Anyways, you are awarded at http://kirantarun.com/2009/11/11/and-the-award-goes-to/… Claim your loot! 😀
Kiran
November 11, 2009
Methinks you just started the cyber-satire genre dear Muse. Bravo!
pochp
November 13, 2009
Perfect, Muse!! Just. Perfect.
ellaella
November 14, 2009
I’m glad, kiran. If I can bring a moment of joy into your life, it makes me happy as well. 🙂 Thank you for the “addicting blog award” —that’s a compliment, right? 😉 I only hope withdrawal symptoms are not too severe. 😀 Now, I’d better go do something to deserve it.
Cyber-satire, poch—juicy name. Perhaps I’m not the first, but I amused myself at least. 🙂 I haven’t written any poetry in a while, and THIS is what chooses to come through. Thank you much.
Aw, ella, you are too kind! This is what happens when catching up on a couple hundred emails all at once. 😉
museditions
November 14, 2009
Very clever and LOLicious! Gotta love the spam that tugs on the heartstrings. But not as much as your verse. 🙂
David
November 16, 2009
I appreciate that, Dave! I was feeling a bit sideways when I wrote this, I admit. 🙂
museditions
November 25, 2009
I missed this before. Great poem, Muse! Very funny and it has a great rhythm.
So I guess I didn’t win the lottery after all? Dang. 😉
You have a real knack for satire. Will you do any more? Twitter would be fun. 🙂
cjwriter
November 26, 2009
Thank you, cj, this means a lot to me coming from you! Nope, no lottery for you this time, but that very next SPAM message could be the one! 😉
I probably will write more in this genre; it was quite a lot of fun. 🙂
museditions
November 29, 2009
LMAO! Take a bow. Great poem, Muse!
thebeadden
December 5, 2009
Thank you, BD, I have done. 🙂 Now you know what goes on in my brain! I don’t usually inflict it on others. 😀
museditions
December 9, 2009