Over and Over again

Posted on September 15, 2007. Filed under: EFT, Musings, Science, Spirituality |

I think it’s a good thing that words of wisdom from my favorite spiritual teachers roll around in my head. It can get a little irritating at times, as when I can’t get “that song” out of my head, but these are phrases and advice I’ve chosen to think are important and useful. Here are a few of them:

“Don’t take it personally”. –Don Miguel Ruiz

At first, I balked at this one. After all, how can I not take virtually everything personally, as it is ME who is experiencing the feedback of my world. However, if I turn this around, just a bit, I get “You don’t have to take it personally”. Many have said that opinions about one, voiced by others, are really about them. Those opinions have nothing to do with us at all, other than giving us opportunities to look at the patterns we have in place.

I have a friend, who, when she first sees me coming, asks me how I am. So far, so good. I generally answer “Good”; “Splendid”; “Very Well”; or some such thing. Again, so far, so good. But then, she’ll sometimes say “Really?, you don’t look that great!” Arrrrrh. It took me a long time to work on that one. She’s told me that she’s just concerned about me. She “reads” me, she says, and my “energy” doesn’t always match what I’m saying. This may or may not be true, but it brings me to my next phrase:

“What You Think of Me is None of My Business” –Terry Cole Whittaker

This is actually the title of one of Dr. Wittaker’s many books, and gets my vote for the best book title ever. It plays right into my friend’s comments. Whatever her concern is, whether she is right, that I’m “lying” about how I feel, it’s still none of her business, unless I invite her comments by telling her I want to talk about the conditions in my life. It just doesn’t feel like an appropriate or helpful greeting to be told I don’t look so good! Also, whatever way I’m feeling, I’m making a serious attempt at feeling better by affirming I am well–in fact I’m always doing this.

“Talking about your problems; arguing for them, keeps you in them”. –Abraham, by way of Esther Hicks

So, I talk about how I want to feel. When I think of it, why would I not always want to talk about how I want to feel? If I do, I will actually start to align with those feelings more often than not. As I write this, I’m seeing that I’m still a bit sensitive and defensive about my friend’s remarks. Believe me, I’ve done a great deal of work on this issue in my life, including many sessions with my favorite energy therapy (see “Health” topic), and even telling my friend I don’t want to hear this from her.

“You create your own reality”. –Seth, through Jane Roberts

Well, if that’s true–and the more I investigate this, the more I believe it–then I have allowed myself to be open to my friend as teacher, and my resolution of these issues in my being, as part of my reality. And the learning is powerful, and useful.

“There is no “there” out there. –Fred Alan Wolf

This, from a quantum physicist, postulates that not only can a physics experiment change when observed (the “observer effect”), but that there is actually nothing “out there”, outside of our own perceptions. Literally, you, reading this, do not exist, if I am not here to blog this at you! Wow, I’m pretty powerful! But, then, nothing you experience “really” exists outside yourself, either, from this perspective.

“The basis of your life is freedom, the purpose of your life is joy” –Abraham, again

This can be hard to take sometimes, particularly if we’re observing the world around us. But all the other teachings listed here remind me that I am free to observe what I will, and take what action I will. I can always take action that moves me closer to joy, and in so doing, raise the joy-factor around me a little. That’s the best, purest, most helpful action I can take. And it’s important not to act (so far as that is easy and doable) until I’m in a place of well-being. I can work for any cause I wish to from that viewpoint.

So, recently, the aforementioned friend gave me this comment: “You look great! Really grounded and strong! Way to go!” OK, so far, so good? While we all like to receive compliments, and I think it’s much more uplifting to say pleasant things than unpleasant ones to people, I still remembered that “what she thought of me was none of my business.” I really was able to just let that comment wash over me, without attachment.

“Good to see you too!”, I said.


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9 Responses to “Over and Over again”

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Thanks for this excellent post. It’s hard to learn not to take anything personally. But the truth is that nothing others do is because of me. They are caught up in their own movie. Recognizing this is the first step to becoming immune to the opinions and actions of others as I walk my own path. The second step is not to make assumptions but instead to find the courage to communicate clearly by asking questions and expressing what I really want and need.

I fully concur, Brightfeather, and support that kind of courage. We owe it to ourselves. It follows that we must then be willing to let it go and move on IF our requests are not fulfilled by a particular individual. It’s my belief that, because we are asking, the universe hears and responds in some way.

It’s nice to see I’m not the only one who thinks the way I do!! It’s the struggle of life in our society don’t you think? We’re taught from a very early age to seek approval and acceptance from parents to friends, coworkers to lovers. How do we stay in a world, yet remain detached? My business coach always tells me a phrase that I think you might like: “Try both and, instead of either or.” We live in BOTH our external world AND separate from our world. Hard concept to wrap your brain around. 🙂

I do like “Try both and, instead of either or.”, Felipe. Thanks for that. I’m someone who doesn’t believe in compromise, even though it’s a quality highly valued by our society. I feel compromise somehow dilutes and diminishes us. This doesn’t mean, though, that I use strong-armed tactics to get my way! I just know that, if I hold to my vision of what is right for me, it will work out so that we all win! I do attempt to honor both the “inner” and “outer” in decisions and actions–thanks for the reminder 🙂

Great post! Though a bit simplistic, I’ve clung to this quote ever since I first heard it:

Remember: no matter where you go, there you are.
– Buckaroo Banzai

Like I said, simplistic. But it works for me. 🙂

Oh, a Buckaroo fan! It’s been a long time since I saw that film, but I sure feel I hang out the 8th dimension at times! And your quote is excellent advice. Sums it all up. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

““You create your own reality”. –Seth, through Jane Roberts

That’s the one I have trouble with lately. It goes along with “The Secret” (book, premise) and I don’t like it. It makes me feel blamed for some things in my life that I don’t feel I deserve to be blamed for. What say you?

Peace and reality….(I’ve heard the quote but never heard of BuckaRoo.)

~ RS ~

[…] who really want to engage with the ideas we’re exploring. By the time I had answered RubyShooZ’s question, I had enough for a new post, so here it […]

Ruby, I so appreciate your time and caring in addressing this point. It gives me an opportunity to explore the issue of “blame”, which, you will see, led to a whole new post! https://museditions.wordpress.com/2007/09/21/i-promise-not-to-create-your-reality-for-you/ “Buckaroo” is a 20-year-old, or so, movie that’s a very silly and meaningful interdimensional sci-fi spoof. I recommend it if you can dig it up. Cheers!

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